Monday, June 21, 2010

Trials and Tribulations on the Path to Gaining Patience...

This is a photo from June 1, 2010 of our natural privacy fenceline filled with yellow honeysuckle, red honeysuckle and red trumpet vine.

This is a photo of our fence line as of today...a sad, sad if your day is not going as you'd wished...I'll understand if you choose to turn away to happier blog posts.

Mr. B and I were sitting in our backyard one week ago...enjoying the shade of our Mama Crepe Myrtle, chatting and savoring the peace of our little piece of paradise...then in the vacant lot next to our property there appeared a RED PICK UP TRUCK. Mr. B went to check on their doings...ahhh this person had bought the lot and was going to clear it for the new home he's building. How nice a new neighbor!

The very next day the clearing began...he asked if we minded his clearing "some" of the trees at the back of our shared fence line as he would be putting up a "privacy" fence. We understood and to be honest most the trees in the fence line are Hackberry Trees...not exactly everyones choice but God gave them to us and we enjoyed the morning shade they provided on the east side of our property. I did ask that the vines on the fence at the front of our property remain untouched as they afforded our family a natural privacy fence for our backyard. Our new neighbor said he would respect my wishes as he wanted to be a good neighbor and he too wanted privacy for his home.

As the day progressed the chain saws moved towards the front of the shared fence line, our "Money Pit" pool was filled with wood debris and then I saw his teenage neice cutting into my Yellow Honeysuckle, Red Honeysuckle and Trumpet Vine! I calmly walked over to him and again explained my desire to have these plants remain as they were and that they had been seedlings planted by me over 6 years ago. He again said yes he was just trimming them on "HIS" side of the fence. I showed him how much damage had been inflicted on the vines and he smiled and said he would not damage them further.

Three days later we awoke to once full fence line that contained chopped tree limbs, sparse vines with dying plants...I was angry, I was sad and I mourned their demise.

Today my once lush fence line is depicted in the third and fourth post much work and tender loving care for naught. Every plant for over 100 feet of fence line was killed. We spent almost 10 hours cutting everything down to the ground and hauling off all of the debris.

I realize I am as a work in progress...patience, kindness and forgiveness! So our once tranquil 1/2 acre tranquil garden paradise is now the BIG PICTURE of life I know this is oh so will pass...a family will have a new home...and things will work out as God intended...but I am so very sad.

The new neighbor now does not look us in the eye...Mr. B says that he surely knows he did wrong...we could pursue this situation legally but to be honest we don't have that kind of money. I've been told that our neighbors are furious because they enjoyed looking at the flower filled fence line and over the years they've watched as I work 6 to 7 hours a day on the gardens. I've been asked what I'm going to do. My response...I will continue to be the best neighbor I can be and I will wait...wait to decide what or even if I will plant anything along this sad, sad fence line again.

So I ask...if you can offer me a kind word of encouragement please do...I find myself in a place I've never been before and try as I might...I can't find my way back to my tranquil life...


  1. I feel your pain as I have a neighbor that did the same thing when he moved in took down huge lilac bushes (on his property but we all enjoyed them in the neighborhood). He still encroaches on my property at every chance he gets (he doesn't see any wrong even though I have called police and had land boundaries marked)

    SO unfortunately I don't have any advice for you. I have confronted him face to face and stewed in my own house and neither has helped me feel any better, just sick.

    I wish you well in "letting go" and trying to be a good neighbor.... you are stronger than I am....

    I too mourn your beautiful flowers and plants...
    (sorry I wasn't any help to you)

  2. Hi Sandy, I've been absent from blogging for some time and just catching up. I'm sooo sorry you'll have to live next to this person. Sorry, I know I can't really say anything that would make you feel better (I've lost too many plants,/trees myself to know).

    If you want some more, I'd be happy to root some for you :0)


  3. We have a "neighbor" situation, as well. We have a professionally designed and installed flower bed that divides our property. We watch as she goes out and carefully eyes the small redbud tree to see if any of the limbs are crossing over into her property. If so, she whacks them off. Our redbud is getting quite lopsided.

    Trying to be a good neighbor, my husband mowed a 3'x 3' patch of "her" grass that is connected to a larger section of our grass between her driveway, the street and the sidewalk. She came out and informed us that she doesn't want us to do that. We thought it would have been rude to ignore that little patch of grass. Oh well.

    She avoids eye contact with us completely. Sometimes I take delight in making her speak to me in the grocery store - I'll go out of my way to say hello. I don't know why I do that. :)

    I have a list of other encounters and so do her other neighbors. We wonder about her and try not to aggravate her unnecessarily. She's young, so it's not like the grumpy old person we all had in our neigborhoods growing up.

    Oh well.

  4. Sandy....where do the days go ??? ....and I missed this post TOO....!
    I am SO VERY, VERY sorry that you have this problem to deal with too.
    But yes, you are right.. it too shall pass...and things will grown again.

    But we somehow never feel the same about our "new" neighbors again it seems when they take advantage of us like they did you...right from the start of the neighborly realtionship.
    But you must forgive...beauase it WILL INDEED MAKE YOU ILL otherwise. Take it from me on that one.
    Not much more can be said about this...but that we have to learn to "adapt to situations" as they come along in our lives.

    You and I have had the ULTIMATE loss... of our children and so this is just anohter deep hurt that we must learn to get use to. AND THIS WILL GROW BACK.

    This music is GREAT by the very soothing for a sad time.

    Sent with all the love and concern I can muster for you and MR. B.


  5. Sandy...Larry is one of my followers..and I thought you would enjoy this story he had on his blog....



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