Thank you dear Rose! I needed to hear this beautiful child of God share His message...you're so right as always...the tears did flow but not in total desolate sadness but in joy...
Yesterday was my worst day...I inadvertently kept looking for Shelby...and I broke down...I sobbed...I was angry...I was so lonely...and Mr. B took me in his arms...he talked me back to "my place" in God's world...we shared our tears...our memories...and slowly replaced those negative emotions with smiles and gentle laughter about our dear Shelby...I vowed again to trust in God's judgement...realizing that my goal is not one thing on this earth but everlasting glory in Heaven with my God. Last night I went to sleep and dreamed....perhaps my mind was starting the healing process but I choose to believe that God is leading me on that healing path....
I dreamed that in a place of total harmony and peace there was my son, Bubba smiling at me, standing tall and beautiful....I noticed his right arm was moving...my gaze continued down to his hand...and there sat my Shelby...sitting tall and erect...mouth agape in her ever present smile, her tail wagging and her eyes met mine...then she gazed up at Bubba...they looked lovingly at each other...and then their gaze met mine....there were no words...there was no need...
Now, realists may choose to interpret this dream as my brain attempting to logically put my sorrow into a happier place....I choose to put my sorrow in God's understanding hands...for me...I am at peace...I trust...I have a goal...to live the remainder of my life as I vowed when I lost my son...to be the best person I can be...so that when my time comes...I'm allowed in the "short" line so that I may meet up with my son and now I add my Shelby beside him...so with God's abundant mercy and "understanding" I begin the healing process...
With all my love and gratitude to all my friends and family who've shown me compassion and their gentle spirits during this time. May God's abundant blessings be bestowed upon every aspect of your lives and know that every word you've said, written or thought has touched my heart and I am grateful beyond mere words.
So I begin anew...God has given me a sunny day today...I am off to walk among His gardens...to remember...and to Thank God for this life of mine...not always an easy path to follow but when I do...I'm rewarded with far more good experiences than not...
Love to all,
Thanks for sharing Sandy....you are so very precious! I will watch the video later tonight.....
ReplyDeleteI showed my daughter the photo of Shelby and told her what happened and tears started rolling down my face all over again......
Blessings!
Ixx
GOSH...thank you Sandy...
ReplyDeleteYou are the most eloquent, sincere person I know about expressing your feelings. And your writings just blows me away. You truly should consider writing a book, you are gifted. ~ What a wonderful SPIRIT you have for the Lord.
I am so PROUD to be considered your friend.
Sandy, I am so sorry I missed this post yesterday. I was beginning to get worried today...and had the feeling we were not going to hear from you for good while.
I was going to give you one more day..and then I was going to call you.
SILLY ME....SHOULD have checked YOUR blog, but I had been waiting for any of your posts to show up on MY blogging list of followers that had recently posted. Don't know why it did not show up there.
OH SO LOVED YOUR DREAM...and the peace it gave you. In the early years just after I lost Dawn...I always considered dreams of my daughter a GIFT FROM GOD...to help with the healing process.
I will tell you about them when I see you sometime.
Now you know Bubba and Shelby are most certainly enjoying each other's company once again.
We were gone all day Saturday...and were busy this morning with Bible Study and out to lunch with friends today...and then got busy here at the house this afternoon and did not do any blogging that I recall.... until late.
I love you too gal...glad I could be of some solace to you...but as we BOTH know, GOD is our ONLY TRUE SOLACE in all things...in the tough times in our lives.
But remember... it's OK if tears still flow ....that is most natural...so don't deny yourself that.
With affection, Rose
Oh Sandy - "realists" can go take a flying leap - I think it's God's way of re-affirming his promise to you... eternal life. He's just cool like that.
ReplyDelete:-D
Short line? Yep - I believe you'll be headin' it up!!! You are so loving and warm and caring... and look at that, I haven't even met you.... yet! Be warned - I might be loitering in your flower garden sometime. LOLOL
xoxoxo
Much peace to you - and give that Mr. B and extra hug from me for taking such good care of you and your heart.
;-) robelyn
Oh, Sandy. I so believe that God gives us such grace in enormously difficult times. What a gift your dream was. Treasure it and tuck it in to your heart that you and yours are so loved and cared for. It seems like forever on this earthly journey. Thank goodness for gifts of grace.
ReplyDeletelots and lots of love,
lynn